Forty and Free: Lonely Blues or Groovy Tune?

About 25% of all 40-year-olds have skipped the wedding march. Quite a leap from a modest 6% in the 1980's! This dance around the importance of getting married keeps changing.

The Gottman Method offers fresh beats for this dance. Our societal song has three unique verses:

1. A verse about "me" before "we". Gottman doesn’t preach self-perfection before partnership. It hums a simpler tune: know yourself, your partner, to harmonize better with others. More 40-year-olds are hitting pause. They're learning their rhythm before joining another's. This could be a leap, not a step back, towards healthier relationships.
2. The cohabitation verse. 22% of the never-married share living space. They're dancing together, minus the wedding rings. This matches Gottman's song: shared meaning matters more than marital labels.
3. A verse about education. Degree holders seem to marry more. But Gottman’s song tells us love isn't learned from textbooks. Trust, admiration, and conflict handling - these skills aren't something you can learn in a boring lecture hall. But fear not! Anyone can master them with a little practice and determination.

Marriage research, without the influence of moral judgments, sheds light on the benefits: married individuals often live longer lives, have improved mental health, and have greater financial stability. It's a harmonious dance with positive rhythms, but only if dancers follow Gottman's advice and listen to each other's melodies.

Conclusion

The marital dance sees more solo movers. But through Gottman's lens, it's not about lonely blues but finding the right groove. For half a century, Gottman's famous studies have crafted a toolbox. It's filled with nifty tricks anyone can use. They help us tune into each other, and harmonize better. A timeless rhythm for the dance of life. So whether seen as a freedom song or a solitary tune, it's all about the richness of connection, understanding, and the dance of relationships.

Are you in this 40 and Never Married category? Please share your experiences below.