Here’s how to listen attentively to your loved ones without interrupting. Your job is to make them feel safe enough to tell you what’s going on.
Tip 1: Don’t try to arrive at a solution. You may find one together eventually, or you may not. Sometimes your loved one just needs to express their thoughts and feelings. You could ask, “Do you want advice or do you want me to just listen?” to clarify if needed.
Tip 2: Realize the goal is not to solve the problem, but to understand. Listen and ask questions.
Not sure what questions to ask to understand your loved one better? Try some of these:
- What do you believe about this issue?
- Does this relate to your background in some way?
- Is there a story behind this for you?
- Why is this so important to you?
- What are your feelings about this?
- Does this relate to a certain belief or value for you?
Tip 3: Communicate that you have heard your loved one and understand their point of view. Stating “I understand that _____ makes you feel _____” goes a long way.
